I'm An Otaku And Proud Of It!
by Roxius
Summary: After having dated for a few months already, Shinobu finds it for the best if Travis was to dispose of all of his 'Pure White Lover Bizarre jelly' merchandise, much to the male assassin's annoyance. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own No More Heroes.

A/N: Hohohoh...my NMH fics have been getting alot of reviews lately, so I decided to try and come back to this fandom, especially because I still do like it...

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"Travis...I need to talk to you..." Shinobu said one day out of the blue.

A shiver crawled up Travis Touchdown's spine; along with 'I think I'm pregnant' and 'we should invite my parents over for dinner', those were the last words any man ever wanted to hear come out of their girlfriend's mouth. Whenever a woman says that she needs to 'talk to you', it usually means that they're breaking up with you. That was the last thing Travis wanted, but he still took his seat on the couch and waited patiently for Shinobu to speak. His cat Jeane hopped up onto his knee, and he affectionately scratched it behind the ear.

"So...what, uh, seems to be the problem, Shinobu?" Travis asked his white-afroed teenage girlfriend of three months. The dark-skinned girl gingerly walked back and forth around the small apartment, glancing hatefully at all the posters and figurines and piles of manga that were strewn about. There was barely enough room to move freely between the rooms. Finally, after about five minutes, Shinobu sat down next to Travis, took his hands into her own, and quietly stated:

"I think you should get rid of all this otaku crap you have lying around."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, a wide grin formed on Travis's lips. That wide grin soon broke wide open, and Travis began laughing like he'd never laughed before. Jeane leaped off his knee and ran to the bedroom out of fear. Clutching his stomach, Travis collapsed onto the ground, his loud cackling shaking the very foundation of the building. Shinobu, however, didn't find this funny at all in the slightest, and shook her head in disappointment at her boyfriend's childish behavior.

By the time he had regained his composure somewhat, Travis was out of breath and his stomach was aching. Struggling back to a stand, Travis let out a tiny chuckle as he said, "...T-That's gotta be the most h-h-hilarious thing I've e-ever heard...seriously...my god, Shinobu, you're a fuckin' comedian...ha ha hah...oh my god...ha ha ha ha ha ha..."

"I wasn't joking. I was being serious..." Shinobu snarled in response, crossing her arms.

Travis immediately stopped laughing. "...What?"

"All of this shit you have lying around is nothing more than a waste of space. You barely ever use any of it, and it takes up alot of room. You can just as easily take all of these posters, these DVDs, these toys, these graphic novels you have and sell them for a profit...it'd make a lot more sense to do that then leave them to rot without ever being put to actual use more than a few times! You need to stop spending all your money on this anime and wrestling crap, Travis, and focus more on using that money to buy important things, like food and water...and maybe even make enough cash so we can purchase our own house together...how does that all sound?"

Travis didn't take long to think of his answer. "No."

"...Travis, think about it-"

"No."

"Travis, I-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Y-"

"I SAID 'NO', GODDAMMIT!!!" Travis screamed, stomping his foot on the floor as hard as he could.

Shinobu stood up from her seat, putting her hands on her hips. "Why the hell not?!! What is all this _'Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly'_ crap worth to you?!! Why do you care so much about it...?!!"

"Don't you ever dare call _'Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly' _such things!! It is like a pristine goddess that has been sent down from heaven to bring happiness and joy to the people of the world!! It is the true form of moe at it's finest!!!"

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL THAT CRAP YOU JUST SPOUTED OUT EVEN MEANS?!!"

Suddenly, the front door swung open, and Bishop Shidux poked his head in. "Hey," he said, waving, "I heard some screaming going on in here while I was passing by, and I just wanted to make sure everything is alright-"

"EVERYTHING IS FINE!!!" Shinobu screamed back at him.

"Alright, then." Bishop closed the door behind him as he walked off.

"Look, Shinobu," Travis exclaimed furiously, "I am not going to throw away any of this stuff!! I paid good money to buy it, and I'm not gonna give it all up just because you said so!!"

"I'm your girlfriend, Travis; do you really think I like seeing you going around cuddling fucking pillows and kissing fucking posters with fucking pictures of fucking prepubescent girls on them all the fucking time?! How do you think I feel about this?!!" Shinobu pointed out, using as many obscenities as possible to prove her point.

Suddenly, upon hearing Shinobu's statement, Travis realized something. "...Holy crap, you're jealous, aren't you? That's why you want me to throw out all of my stuff...you're jealous of a bunch of fictional little girls..."

"WHAT?!!"

"Oh my god, you're jealous of the _'Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly' _girls, aren't you?!! You are!! You wish it was you I was calling 'moe', not them!!!" Travis chuckled, grinning playfully.

Her face now glowing bright red, Shinobu cried, "T-That's not t-true!! That's n-not true at all!!!"

"But you're BLUSHING..."

"No, I'm not!! Shut up!!"

"You're just so cute when you blush!! So moe!!!" Travis gushed.

"S-S-SHUT THE HELL UP, TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN!!! I MEAN IT!!!" Shinobu exclaimed, covering her face with her hands.

Meanwhile, Bishop Shidux was still standing outside the door, smirking to himself as he leaned up against it. He couldn't help but smirk to himself as he listened in to the argument, which came to a sudden stop as soon as a loud thud was heard. Shaking his head, Bishop took out a cigarette and lit it.

'It's kinda funny how everytime she tries to get him to get rid of all his otaku collectibles and shit, he always turns the tables on her like this...'


End file.
